I absolutely love Easter. The reflection and celebration of what is central to my faith.  Good Friday can be a bit of a random day as we reflect on the cross with the knowledge of it’s aftermath and what really went down on that first Easter. I don’t approach it as a sombre memory, but with a thankful heart as I embrace it’s message.

I am still processing my recent trip to Israel, and perhaps  location has changed something in my view of Easter this year.  I am a beautiful mess because of it. There where so many beautiful moments with God on that trip that brought even more meaning to the life and death of Jesus.  I am fully aware of a bigger story at play and can’t help but smile as I see the hand of God weaving His kingdom into the mess of our broken world.

The cross is central to it all.

Something beyond a ‘man dying’ took place when Jesus died.

I wonder when exactly it was that they realised something bigger was happening?  Was it the unusual darkness in the middle of the day? Was it the huge earthquake as he bowed His head and breathed His last? Was it the detail that the earthquake split the temple curtain?

That’s my favourite part. The temple curtain rend from top to bottom. The declaration that because of what just happened on skull hill, God’s presence is no longer contained in a location in a temple but explodes out, inviting the entire planet to experience what only a select few had the privilege to before the cross.

As I sat in the Garden of Gethsemane a few weeks ago, the weight of His sacrifice hit a new reality.  The thought was thrown out that perhaps the most brutal part of His death was His separation from the father. Jesus had never known what it was not to walk intimately with His father.  Their union was a given in His life. The thought of separation was agonising and on top of  his physical wounds, the reality of Him becoming sin for us resulted in this final blow of breaking this union with His Father.

I have been thinking so much about this.  His connection was His way of life, it was His normal. Disconnection from God wasn’t something He had experienced until that moment.  Their union was broken for a moment (in light of eternity) – so that all of humanity could experience this connection with the Father.  That brief disconnection was brutal for Jesus, His loneliness all too real, His isolation unbearable.

I wonder if we have ever fully embraced the fullness of our ‘bought’ union with God?

We find ourselves in a sweet spot. We get the benefits of His work – someone else pays, and we get the prize. It’s a great deal for us.  A free gift.  But it was a gift that cost God everything – it cost Jesus His life, and it’s this truth that makes my heart burst with gratitude.

Why on earth would Jesus freely engage with such a raw deal transaction on His part?

For me. For you. To win an entire human race back for His Father – to reconnect what the enemy has torn apart.

As I stood in the sacred pit at Caiphas’s house, where Jesus spent His last night before dying – I could see Him. I imagined him lying in that dark space agonising over his impending sacrifice. For me, this was the most emotional part of my entire trip to Israel.  As we read Psalm 88 in that pit, the weight of what Jesus did was overwhelming, especially when we put ourselves into His story and realise our faces in His kingdom is His great reward. As I imagined Him lying there in that place, my mind wondered to this thought of how many people have stood in this place – why do they come? is it this emotional for everyone? 60 of us piled into this tiny space, shoulder to shoulder as everyone took in the heaviness of what was happening. And even though I couldn’t see Him, in my mind I see Him bent over, yet smiling as He fast forwarded in his mind and seen countless believers who would one day stand in that very same room with thankful hearts. I seen Him smile – and I seen that reality encourage his frail heart in that moment.

Me. You. We where the joy set before Him and it kept Him going.

looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12v2

I am still learning to be always be mindful of what He did. It’s easy for it to take preference this time of year when it’s a timely topic – but may I never lose the wonder of my connection to my father because of that first Easter.

Thank you Jesus.

*photo cred Aaron Pegg [A&M photography]